Title: Catnip Reversed! (One Shot)
Pairings: Shizuo x Izaya
Rated: PG (FLUFF. Shocking I know)
Dedicated to: Sagta! My husbando!!! junjoupureheart.tumblr.com
Summary: Izaya accidentally turns into a cat. Without knowing the black cat is his arch-nemesis, Shizuo takes him home and keeps him as a pet. As a cat, Izaya discovers a side of Shizuo that … well… he sort of knew all along but… 8D.
PLEASE NOTE this happens AFTER Chapter 7 of Catnip. Thank you.
Thank you for reading ~
Izaya let out a frustrated howl as he stared at his forepaws.
HOW DID HE TURN INTO A CAT?
But there wasn’t much time for him to lament. Already three rugrats have spotted him and grinned with malicious smirk. They picked up the trash rolling around on the street and started hurling it towards the defenseless black cat for some bloody entertainment.
Izaya skipped across the sidewalk in a zigzag manner, avoiding the hailing trash from the sky as the kids viciously threw sharp objects at the feline, laughing maniacally. Unable to avoid all the pelting rummages, Izaya quickly dashed to the side, trying to avoid it and…
-HONK HOOOOONK SCREEEEEEECH~!!!!!!!!!-
Izaya froze on the road like a deer caught in a headlight. W-wait! He remembered this exact scene like a slapping de javu! He should have known better! Not only that, he didn’t have Shizu-chan’s…!!
Izaya stiffened up, expecting the most painful experience of his twenty-odd years of his life… when he felt ….
He blinked open his eyes and looked up to see a large shadow covering him.
And a blond monster in bartender suit.
“You alright kitty? Hey! You! Watch where you’re driving! You almost killed this cat!” The man in the bartender suit yelled at the driver who cowered in fear and kept apologizing.
Orihara Izaya, the informant extraordinaire turned cat gawked at his savior. Because his ‘savior’ was none other than his most hated enemy….
W-well, it wasn’t quite as simple to label him as ‘his most hated enemy’…
It was sort of ….
But before he could do much, Izaya, human-turned-cat-by-some-weird-magic-he-doesn’t-even-know-how, the debt collector had taken off his bartender vest and scooped him up carefully, snuggling him close to the blond’s heart. Izaya was surprised how much a cat could hear…. He could clearly hear the beating heart as his ear and body was pressed against him.
“You alright kitty? Man I saw those kids throw things at you. Good thing you weren’t hit by that truck.”
Izaya looked up and meowed. Technically he ‘should’ be surprised that a man wasn’t hurt after being struck by a truck, but this was Heiwajima Shizuo. He had crushed the front of the truck and stopped it before anyone got hurt, save for the poor truck that got its front mangled….
“Hungry? Eh… I hope… I’m not crushing you more or anything…”
Shizuo looked apologetic as he nervously held the cat. Izaya wasn’t hurt at all though, in fact Shizuo was carrying him so gently, he wasn’t feeling all that crushed in. He didn’t realize how much Shizuo truly feared his own powers.
“We’ll be home soon. I hope you like drinking milk… not sure what else I got at home… And get you bandaged up.” Shizuo frowned as he held the cat, worried that the cat was hurt very badly. Izaya sighed to himself. Bandages? If Shizuo is worried that he was hurt, shouldn’t he be taken to a vet first? And get shots? What if he had germs? Granted, Izaya was suuuure he didn’t have germs but, that was besides the point. Either the protozoan was just that stupid or just couldn’t afford vets, Izaya had no idea.
And how was he to tell this human that he HATED sweet milk?
“H-hold still!!” Shizuo said as he tried to ‘carefully’ wrap the bandages around the cat’s limbs and body.
“MEROOOOW!!!” Izaya screamed at him, trying to get away. But the damn beast was very good at maneuvering around the fleeing cat to get him back on the sink and roll the white gauze that made him look more like a half-assed mummy.
“Look! You wouldn’t get better unless we get you fixed up? I don’t even know if you have broken bones!” Shizuo sighed exasperated and Izaya howled, also desperately annoyed. This dumbass protozoan! What more could he do wro-
“Oh right. Maybe we should use super glue on your broken bones huh. Let’s see… I have some right here…” Shizuo haphazardly opened up a cabinet next to the sink’s mirror. Several shaving cream bottles and razors fell out and Izaya yelped, skipping away to avoid getting severely hurt. And for the LAST TIME, he wasn’t HURT!
“Ah! Sorry, sorry! I told you to stay still, kitty! I don’t want to hurt you!!” Shizuo said as he tried to grab for him again but Izaya gracefully leapt out of his arms.
At this rate, he would be MORE HURT by Shizuo trying to help him, rather than by Shizuo’s own supernatural strength! It’d be so much easier if Shizuo just held him but the damn beast was too scared to even ‘touch’ him without having between him and the debt collector’s strength…
Izaya sighed as he hissed, moving further away from Shizuo on the tiled bathroom floor. Did he truly fear his own strength that much? It was as if he’d rather carry the cat by a stick thinking that it was safer that way, in that illogical mind of his.
Shizuo squat down in a pleading pose as he begged the cat, “look kitty. I don’t want you hurt. So can you pleeeease let me fix you up?”
Izaya hesitated. He didn’t want to be superglued…. Nor did he want razors stuck on his back… but he knew Shizuo had a good heart. He meant well… And Izaya’s heart throbbed with pain when Shizuo looked at him like that with puppy eyes…
With careful step forward, Izaya meowed as he crawled into Shizuo’s lap. He nestled a bit, rubbing his black furry head against the debt collector’s chin as Shizuo let out a happy and relieved sigh. Then just as gently although extremely badly, Shizuo finished wrapping Izaya with the gauze, making a big bow on top of his back. Izaya knew he looked ridiculous, even worse as he examined himself in front of the cracked mirror in front of the sink… but it made Shizuo elatedly happy. It wasn’t a bad trade-off he figured.
“Okay good. Now then. Let’s get you something to eat. You must be hungry huh? Do you dig trash cans for living? Man, that must be rough…” Shizuo was pretty much talking to himself as he got up to go to his kitchen. Izaya sniffed haughtily. EXCUSEEEE Me. But who was he to call him a trashcan digger?
Then he remember how he himself said the same thing to his pet cat ‘Flea’ and Izaya felt a little tinge of guilt…
But Flea was different from him. Izaya was not actually a wild cat!
When Shizuo opened the fridge, Izaya peered inside. The debt collector’s fridge was in a sorry state, it was empty save for a few almost-expiring milk cartons. Izaya felt his heart squeeze again. He didn’t realize exactly how ‘poor’ Shizuo was… and how much he was just barely getting by…
“Oh good. I do have something for you still. I’ll try to get some cat food with my salary next time too.” Shizuo happily opened his last milk carton to share it with the cat.
He didn’t have to do that… Izaya thought. He didn’t have to share his last meal with an alley cat he just met…
Izaya really didn’t want to drink the milk but when the plate of milk and cream was placed in front of him, he leaned forward for a taste.
Oh, yuck. It really was waaaaay too sweet. Why couldn’t Shizuo remember that cats liked FISH???? Especially tuna?
Izaya sighed as he drank little bit slowly. Shizuo was so happy to feed him, he didn’t have the heart not to. After he finished, Izaya rubbed his gauzed wrapped head against Shizuo’s legs. He was watching like a child with fascinated glittery eyes… Izaya knew that he really wanted to pet him touch him… just that he was too scared to hurt the cat and was keeping a distance. Shizuo froze as the furry feline mummy started rubbing against him, afraid that a slightest move would make his ephemeral happiness disappear. He really didn’t have too, Izaya thought to himself. It wasn’t like Shizuo could…
… well no. Shizuo could probably easily kill him by accident. Still a pet or two shouldn’t hurt…
But until Shizuo gotten over his own fear… he would never pet any small animals.
That was… kind of…
Izaya shook his head. He refused to think that far. He would at least rub himself against Shizuo if the beast was too scared to touch him, that was all.
“Alright kitty! We should give you a name huh? That is, if you don’t mind one hmm…” Shizuo smiled happily as the cat rubbed against him. Izaya purred a bit as he rubbed himself. This actually felt kinda good. Too bad he wouldn’t mind a belly scratch either and all…
“How about ‘Flea’? You remind me of Izaya wearing all this black with white trims ahaha.”
“MEWROW!!” Izaya stiffened up and hissed. Flea??? AGAIN???!! How uncreative!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Hahaha! You don’t like it? Too bad! I like that nickname! It’s yours too now. Granted, I like you a lot better than Izaya.” Shizuo grinned back. Izaya starred up and mewed softly.
‘T-that hurt… you know…’ Izaya thought to himself, hanging his head. It wasn’t like… he had…. hoped for anything… but… it still hurt. He knew that Shizuo would hate him forever so it shouldn’t matter but… hearing it like that…
“Okay Flea! It’s bath time! We should get you cleaned up. Guess I should have done that before bandaging you but… no matter. Fixing you up should always come first, right?”
‘No you idiot. Cleaning up and disinfecting the wounds should come first. Granted, being poured with sake or super glue isn’t quite what I’d call disinfecting… ‘ Izaya mumbled as Shizuo carefully wrapped him up with his bartender vest again (didn’t this man have anything else???) and was carried into the dingy bathroom once more.
Shizuo closed the door behind him with his foot as he carefully placed him on his sink and…
… unbuttoned his shirt.
Izaya gawked as he got the best view he ever had of Shizuo’s well sculpted chest and those muscular abs… and his jaw dropped some more as the the debt collector fiddled with the buckle of his pants and shrugged out of them and…. shit the boxers also fell to his feet to reveal that well endowed … part between his legs. He was hung as…. as a horse!
“Okay Flea. Time for your bath. Let’s go~”
Izaya was too stupefied and shocked out of his mind that he wasn’t even thinking about anything as Shizuo carried him to the tub. He should have known cats don’t like water but… it just didn’t occur to him that he was a cat right now and all things cat related should matter. And he lay on Shizuo’s arms, still trying to wrap his mind about that large sausage that dangled in front of him seconds ago when the man turned on the faucet to the showerhead for the unknowing cat.
And uninformed informant was a sad thing.
Izaya YOWLED as the cold water splashed on to his wet fur and oh-my-fucking-god-what-is-this-feeling-of-being-icky-wet-sticky-and-gross-with-all-kinds-of-disgusting!!! Izaya practically sprained himself as he tripped over his gauze wrapped around his legs and paws as he lashed his claws at the curtains, trying to climb out of the tub.
“Oh no you don’t! You need to be cleaned Flea!”
Izaya clawed and clawed, jumping up and down, trying to break himself free of the horrible, HORRIBLE feeling of being wet as the tub filled up higher and higher and it was like he was drowning in a water torture chamber. He couldn’t feel his feet and his body felt heavy as he fell deeper into the tub, oxygen cutting off and…
“Pffftt ack! Haaa!! Aaah!!!” Izaya spluttered as he pulled himself out of the tub, his body have submerged under. His pet orange cat meowled in surprise when Izaya suddenly sat up. The informant gasped for breath then quickly checked his body….
He was human again. He had his hands, arms, legs…. And his pet cat Flea still scowling at him.
“Ahahaha… sorry Flea. I must… I must have fallen asleep in my tub huh?” Izaya leaned forward to rub Flea’s ear. The cat half purred and half growled which made Izaya laugh even more.
“So sorry, so sorry. I didn’t realize… how much you cats hate water. I wouldn’t force you into baths again … unless I have to of course.” Izaya winked at the cat. Using his ‘good’ arm, Izaya helped pick up the cat with the towel to dry him. His other arm still was bleeding, the gash still split from earlier. He would have to call Namie so he could be bandaged properly.
He smirked remembering how in his dream, Shizuo tried to use superglue on him.
“Ah, but it was a good dream I had, Flea. I dreamt I was Shizuo’s pet cat you know?”
The cat tilted one ear as if he was listening. That was one of many reasons why Izaya really liked this cat. Even though Izaya knew the cat couldn’t possibly understand him, sometimes Izaya felt as if the cat was listening to him intensely.
“He tried to use superglue on my injury, could you believe that? Ahahaha…! Such a protozoan thing to do!!” Izaya laughed as he rubbed his orange cat’s head with the dry part of the towel . The cat growled disgruntled as if he didn’t approve of either what Izaya had said or the way his master was drying him, the informant couldn’t quite tell. No matter, the ‘real’ Flea was always amusing to Izaya.
“But you know… I wouldn’t have minded… being Shizuo’s pet I think. It would have been sort of nice… I wish he would give me some belly rubs and pat on the head… too bad you don’t like those. I think those would be great.”
The cat stared up at him with those gorgeous golden eyes seemingly understanding the human. Izaya smiled a bit bitterly as he gathered up the wet feline and held him close to his heart.
“Can you hear my heartbeat too if I do this? I wonder… how the real Shizuo’s heart beat would sound like…”
The cat mewed softly, clearly not quite following Izaya’s thoughts but the soft meow was comforting to the informant.
And that was good enough.